What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

I'm rick james bitch

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

What is the name of the car? What

Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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