What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops