Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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i killed my family

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops