Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Psychics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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