why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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