Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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BIG MAC'S

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops