this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Why? Why Not?

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops