What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops