Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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