how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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Neil Lewis

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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