Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Why can't jokes spit?

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops