why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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