Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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have safe sex

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Bitch! Love, J.B.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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Do u take sugar?

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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