A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops