Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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CHORGLUND

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops