A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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