Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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