My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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