What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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hey guys im gay

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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hi penis ham telephone

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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