What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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