A women walks into a kitchen.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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