Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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I like touching my boobs

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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