Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops