Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is orange and blue 2 colors

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops