A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

Morning wood.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

everyone dislike this

A Mormon walks into a bar

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

Knock Know! Come in!

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What hurts like hell? HELL

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...