How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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