sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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