A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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can you touch your toes? no

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Penis chickens

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Religionh

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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