Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

My wife made me a sandwich

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

How many mathematicians does it take to count?

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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