Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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did you stub your toe?

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops