- Anti Joke

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

Thats sweet, thank you then.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

wanna here a joke? you.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

So this fat guy farts. It smells.

Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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