What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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