How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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