What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Queens Park rangers

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops