What did the car do? CRASH!

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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