If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops