My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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