Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Badabing.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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how do you win a game try your best

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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