How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the car do? CRASH!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops