A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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