Women's Professional _________

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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