Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

minorities.....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +17

69

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

thumb_up thumb_down +17

feminine literature

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops