When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

thumb_up thumb_down -6

While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops