What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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