What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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