What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

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what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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