Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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