What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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alex is cool

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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womens rights

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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You having friends.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops