What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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it's funny because it's funny

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops