A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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