- Anti Joke

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

We have finally achieved the goal of six million followers, and created our own society, finally I can shout that this fucking world is insane! My world on the other hand, is what I have been dreaming about since the day I was born, maybe she had a reason to cut of my arm, maybe she was right to beat me half to death with it, maybe she was no more insane than I for seeing Satan when looking at me. But if a world of hope, peace, love, unity, without suffering, war, disease, guided by the hearts desire of my followers, where we can all be happy without "thanking oh great deity" for giving us what WE WITH HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE HAVE FINALLY ACHIEVED! IS THE WORK OF SATAN!... ...Then fuck, you are all welcome,,, Maybe I will one day want your souls, because I want freedom, and giving them in servitude to some God in exchange of eternal agony is freedom THEN I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD, BUT HELL IF IT IS SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING MESSED UP! I mean, sure, the world might have once experienced a life so terrible and hopeless that the thought of deities (invisible ghosts from space and their human children?) would come and set them free, as such humanity lost faith in themselves and so on... ...But does that excuse humanity for not believing in itself enough in order to create heaven on earth rather than destroy their only guaranteed life in hopes of life, ironically after death TODAY? Why he fucking HELL was I the ONLY ONE THAT COULD THINK OF THAT?! Then again, I achieved this not because I felt forced, if burdened with a painful feeling that I somehow knew there was a better way than religion or "my actions do not matter because I wont exist after death mentality". But because I was then, apparently the only one willing to listen to my hearts desire, believe in what religious people call "the lies of Satan", the notion that I would one day find power, freedom love, and the ability to share it with others upon this world... Either that, or my heart is something truly special... The only one worth listening to. So as I fear my own society, my own order being blown up by a nuke in an instant, proving somehow that I am Satan in disguise and that my dream was my lie... ...It was all worth it, and then it was all a lie, because humanity are those that do not allow it to happen, not Gods. I have nothing more to fear, I am complete. Yes hate me because I am full of pride for what I have done, because I am happy and finally at peace, call me a braggart, call me whatever the fuck you want and know that I have been called and known as far worse! But that is what my world is about, where nobody lives in shame "enduring" life on earth, settling in conformity, afraid of their neighbor, beating the shit out of their children because they wont say "Amen" before dinnertime until they do and again do the same to their children when they grow up. You are simply jealous... Its not arrogance if you can back it up, its not narcissism if every good thing you see in yourself, is what you have already achieved! One day I will seek to turn against your world, to burn it down and kill all that choose fear over love, this out of mercy... ...As if you have decided that life is a painful one that must be endured until death, and avoid all and everything that makes you happy... ...I will be more than happy to make your "arduous life of test on earth" A short one, so that you might hopefully meet your maker, after all, if that is not the way you feel, then you are betraying your God aka delusion, everybody wins. I made this, by my own effort at first, then followed by the few that are today many... And I am not human, but hell if I have any "Omnipotence"... ...And behold what I have created... And then ask yourself: WHY THE HELL CANT MY FUCKING OMNIPOTENT DELUSION DO THAT? This is for those that follow Neronism, and for those that from time to time, start to awaken from their brainwashing, as I no longer offer you the opportunity to create a world where you are treated with respect and love, where you will find wealth and peace... ...Because that world is already made, now I will allow you to beg me for a chance to see if you are worthy to take part in it, because humans... If hell if you made this dream hard for me. Bah, six million followers is enough for now, you others go kill one another in hopes of reaching of what my vision has created on earth. Farewell horsehead network, where I grew the thick skin required in order to withstand being laughed at, this with and on purpose, you have served your purpose. And should you be one of mine reading, then thank you for making it happen, and fuck, you are very damn welcome as well. I also expressed my anger, my doubts, my fears and rage here, now that is finally over, as I no longer carry any of those emotions, and do not rule, but guide out of my people`s respect for me rather than fear, in a world where such emotions are not neccesary. Nero. (Yes religious assholes, you might call me Satan, I really hope you will find heaven after life, because if hell if you are welcome to our heaven on earth). Ps: I know I have said I will leave for good before, and then some jackass kept posting "Moralman is gone/dead" but this time I mean it, id be ashamed to return, besides I have my own empire to take care of, I did not want to become the emperor, but why deny the desire of all of my followers? Somehow I have reason to believe I am capable.

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

Blacks

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Followers of Neronism: Many outsiders have told us that we hide in the dark, stay away from the ways of this society because we are ashamed of who we are... ...Never forget that we stay in the darkness because we live in a place where we can walk without being ashamed not of ourselves, but of the blind fools around us! They judge, they kill, they make one another suffer and believe that love is sacrificing themselves and their loved ones rather than preserving them all for their fucking Deities! As for those that accuse us of being Satanists, and me for being Satan, remember that this has nothing to do about following God or his fucking castaway son, his supposed equal in power, but about believing in ourselves, and each other. Recently a group of certain "true believers" accused me of being possessed by the devil, until a fucking eight year old asked me if I was Satan... ...As her parents smiled I realized it was them that made her ask me that, so I stared them into the eyes and said: "If I am the kind of being that encourages people to listen to their hearts, to live out their true desires with happiness rather than shame, to live out their hopes and dreams and spread happiness while understanding that love is both about the preservation of self and others and living in the present rather than surrendering free will and life in a gamble for a life after death... ...Then per your definition, you already know who your kin knows me as." Know finally that many call me insane for living out what started as a daydream, then grew into a vision, and has become reality, a society where peace, love, happiness, and unity based on what makes us all the same, rather than those superficial things that make us seem different, and respect and belief for one another rather than for some God has finally become a reality... ...The reason that I left for years at the time was not only in order to build the fundamentals behind our order, but also in order to wonder if I was fucking insane for standing against beliefs that most of the world follow is over... ...Today I can finally point at those questioning my sanity, and shout "YOU ARE THE FUCKING INSANE ONES! YOU ARE THE FUCKING EVIL SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT BRAINWASH YOUR OWN CHILDREN AND BEAT UP YOUR WIVES IN ORDER TO PLEASE SOME FUCKING INVISIBLE HOLY GHOST FROM SPACE OR SOMETHING JUST AS FUCKING STUPID! YOU ARE THE VICTIMS THAT HAVE BEEN TROUGH BRAINWASHING AND FEAR BEEN TRICKED INTO FOLLOWING THE FALSE NOTION YOU CALL "LOVE!" If the beginning of a world where everyone is equal, where respect for yourself and your own kin is law, brings us into an order, and perhaps one day into a world of peace, wealth, love, care, and understanding is Satan, is insanity... THEN I AM OFFICIALLY SATAN THE INSANE! AND IF THIS IS NOT RIGHT, THEN I WANT TO BE WRONG! IF FEAR OF DYING IS EXACTLY WHAT STOPS RELIGIOUS ONES FROM LIVING THEIR OWN LIFE! THEN THEY ARE THE WEAK ONES NOT EVEN DARING TO FACE LIFE! And that I can finally wake up from those dreams where I feel as if I am Satan... And wake up and shout to all "THE HELL WITH WHAT I AM! GODS ARE WHAT EVIL IS!" And then I feel shame... Shame for ever believing myself to be equal with these fucking humans of which few realize how fucking wrong religion is, and those that do, just stand there doing nothing to stop the abuse, the destruction, the brainwashing of children which again become parents which again send their children into war plunging this world into suffering! ALL TO APPRAISE SOMETHING THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN BUT FEAR SO MUCH "for love" THAT THEY DESTROY THEIR OWN CHILDREN! I am pissed... How could I have spent so much time doubting what is today reality, thanks to all that made this happen, and my pity to all that allow their own fear, to destroy not only their own lives, but those of their loved ones.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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