Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Asians

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops